Thursday, December 31, 2020

What Does It Say? by M. K. Dreysen

This one, almost a tone poem, is for my friend George. It's not given to me to know if stories can reach behind the Veil. But if so?

Hey, George, it's not precisely a time machine. And, I'm not sure that it'll ease the heartache completely. But this one's for you: a little 12-bar, I hope, to make the turnaround a little easier.

What Does It Say? by M. K. Dreysen

I used to write letters. Long ones, short ones. Mostly, I sat in class and scribbled away.

Knowing that my profs and fellow students would see a diligent fellow scholar. Sure, I hid from myself.

I felt like I was throwing myself into the sun. But she has that effect on people.

Time tells me I played the fool. Hell, I knew it then. I enjoyed dancing at the end of the tether I'd woven from dreams.

I would have told you those ties had been severed.

By someone else. I was never that brave. My one and only is, and did the cutting while I worried at other things.

That's what I believed, anyway. What I would happily have said, if anyone had ever thought to ask.

Until yesterday. That's when the letter came in the mail.

I wrote on whichever pad of paper came to hand. Mostly those yellow legal pads, they fit my hand and eye. But I had a stack of spiral-bound, as well, so half my letters went out with the rough tear polka of stuffing the mess into the envelope.

Hers came back in just as random an assortment, only she'd quite the collection of stationary. So in between the onion skin papers she filched from work, others appeared on those Auntie's favorites that show up on birthdays and holidays.

One of my moms gave me hell the first time one of these letters came, with perfume artfully dabbed somewhere within the envelope. Mom Lis gave me sheer hell over that one.

Did you know it's awfully difficult to hide from loving ridicule? When your work schedule doesn't overlap with the mailbox run? Yeah.

Smells still hit me like a brick. MawMaw's cooking. Cut grass. Ok, and the borderline awful, the pig pen or horse stalls.

Those, and I'm helping PawPaw fill the wheelbarrow, because the garden needs it and this is the best stuff your garden ever had. Only that means I'm about to get knee deep behind the tiller, because we always get too much rain when we don't and too little when we do.

I didn't notice the smell until I'd torn my way, ungraceful as usual, through the top of the envelope.

The paper had faded from pink? Hard to tell, except that the fade to washed-out fit with the wearing, the handling. Like the letter had sat in its envelope for decades.

I withdrew the onion skin paper. Caught my breath at the fragility of it.

And then came the scent.

And then today comes another letter. Only this one in a cascade of little paper nubbins and that old familiar hand that even my one and only despairs of after all these years.

I remember how I used to love those pens with the little ridges, the way they wore into the second knuckle after a long day. I've still got a little bit of a callous there, it comes out when I take myself to pen and paper.

It seems I have a couple of appointments to keep.

****

The first one, I went there believing there was no way the place even existed back then. Shit the road didn't even exist. Only, we're a new city growing up over the threads of an old town.

So the diner might have sat the side of a country road back then. I wonder how I knew? I walked an entirely different forest then. Jungle, even.

Just like today it's wheat toast and ice water and one egg and one slice of bacon, please and thank you. The kid on the other side still iron-lined enough to pile on the ranchero and the plate full of huevos and just leave the coffee pitcher please and thank you.

"Don't go," I tell myself.

"You know better than that," I reply.

"We'll regret it." "Yeah."

I nod and accept it just as I do the check. I make myself leave the tip. In that particular moment we're good for that much, just.

****

The second one is the movie theater. Site of midnight Rocky and Casablanca and Somewhere In Time and a thousand other chances to see what they looked like on the big screen.

She doesn't wear the perfume. She never did, wear it I mean. Just a little glass vial on the dresser.

I want to wonder what she thinks of the grey beard and the paunch I want to do something about but never quite manage.

But that's just noise, like asking myself why my one and only gets to pick out the cars when I'm the one doing a daily drive.

I smile and set aside my vanity. What I do wonder is why she's here, besides the popcorn and the chocolate.

She ignores the question, along with the few others I manage. I remain unable to convince.

Then as now, I am accustomed to failure. Though the distance and the time help, I find.

She leaves before the credits; I see a knowing, familiar smile lit by the floor lights.

****

My one and only asked me why I've been reading old letters. "She hasn't responded to one of my group emails in years," my lover reminded me.

The big holiday and invite emails. Last year, the company surprised us with a gift card. So we bought a big old whole ribeye, sliced it thick and told everyone when the charcoal would be right.

Never a word from her; my love hadn't even mentioned her name in years. Now my one and only just rolls her eyes at the old fool who shares what little space the dogs and cats allow in the bed.

The reason my love is braver than I am?

There's no bravery in just sitting quiet, not reaching out. No matter how long it took me to talk myself into not doing those things.

****

So one young fool sits down to a class where the prof fills three boards a day, in tiny print. Theorem lemma lemma proof.

Every line matters.

And our boy is busy writing a letter. Can you imagine?

I can. Which is why I'll be sitting down soon to write this out. I owe you a response.

And yeah, I'll be writing another letter, as well. Yeah, it'll be to her.

That one I owe to myself.

Thursday, December 24, 2020

Grady Has A Part To Play

I've been saving this particular story for a special occasion.

Tonight's sort of a special occasion, so here we are. Together.

Reader, do you know what it means to trip over yourself because you don't know quite where to go? Or what to do if you did?

Maybe you're a... well, a bit of a misfit?

That's ok. That's what we're here for, tonight. To hold hands together, you and me. Little oddities, us.

Grady's kind of like that, too. An out of place, and maybe time, sort of nitwit. Lost, just on the other side of more than a little lost. Broken.

Still. However the view might be from other boxes. Whoever else might have thought of a different player, and a different part. On this night, dear reader, we'll come to find that, just as we misfits always do...

Grady Has A Part To Play by M. K. Dreysen

So this guy sets his mind up, he's gonna park his cart, like, right there at the curb. And I says to this guy, I says, "Hey, Santa-type dude, you're asking for some kind of citation there."

And the guy turns to me and says, swear to God, "Officer Dubronik and I have business together this evening."

And me, I'm like, whoa, 'cause who's going to mess with a guy who's got, like, BUSINESS, you know? 'Cause me, I've got business, you've got business, but this guy, he's gotta be having BUSINESS, you know? And with Dubronik, who's only like the toughest hardass walking a beat, right?

Everybody in Venice has got to have had a parking ticket with Willa Dubronik scrawled across the bottom line, right?

Well, except for me, but I don't have a car. Not the driving type these days, you know? No wheels kind of goes along with the no house, is what I'm saying.

So anyway, I says, to the Santa-type dude, I says "You looking for Dubronik, you're in the right place. She just walked past here not five minutes ago." Like it's Dubronik's night on the beat, is where I'm going with my story, which you might have guessed.

Only, this dude's a little busy for my story. Which, you know, I'm into it. Gotta be, like, a thousand guys and gals might walk by me every day of my life, and every one of 'em I've got a different story for, 'cause that's how I work. That's my gig, it's what I do.

And ten out of eleven, maybe on holidays it might be twelve, fifteen day of, you know? Like that kind of ratio, that's what I'm cool with, they walk by me like they don't want to listen to my patter. To my beat, my rap. Which is what this guy did, and what do you know, I'm cool with it.

So he walks on, and I look at these weird horses dropping standard issue steaming piles of poop on the road. And it's at this point that I wonder if hanging around when this guy leaves is going to be anything like a good idea.

I mean, Dubronik's a hardass and all, but she don't beat people up. She's just the kind who offers "Jail, or scoop the reindeer poop," if you're catching the wave I'm surfing, yeah? And there being no pooper scooper on offer...

So I'm down the block, realizing I'm short on funds this week. So maybe it's time to head to the shelter short on funds. Nice bunch, there. Warm food. Not too patient with Grady these days. As in, "Don't come back here, Grady. Or we'll call the cops." Like that.

Not cool. Not cool at all. But, hey, I kind of earned it. So, we're even. Except now I've got to find a place to sleep, which ain't easy. Venice is not what it used to be, amen and hallelujah my brother and sister dollar chasers.

At least it ain't coal country. I might be miserable this night. I might be a little teeth chattering, and I might be get up and walk every couple hours cold. But I'm not going to be deader than disco cold. I'm not gonna be oh wow, it's warm and then you fall asleep and never wake up cold.

Which when you think about it, is worth the trade. Oh, I could use the job. And the wife and the kids, them too. Only, they ain't none of them on offer, so let's think some more about this whole sleeping business, Grady. Like we know what we're doing, brother Grady, and we can at least make sure Dubronik don't stumble over us fifteen minutes into our siesta, am I correct my sister?

And yeah, that does sound pretty good, right? So I'm cruising, I'm looking for a settlement-type area, a cubby. Maybe even a warm dark place with a little bit of the old dream of home, if you know what I'm saying?

And wouldn't you know it? Here comes the self-same Santa-type dude. And this time, he's got some kind of rock in his hand. About the size of my fist type rock. A real rock.

The kind of rock ol' Dubronik might think brother Grady is getting ready to toss through a window and help himself to the items sitting there. Which, "Not cool, Santa-type dude. I don't do weapons." Not these days. Grady is a peaceful type. These days.

"Grady Edwards. Dubronik has disappeared, my friend. Which means you are called to a service this evening." And the Santa-type dude he hands me this rock. The one I've already indicated is not, I mean NOT, Grady's way of working. Brother Grady has sworn off it, really.

"Grady, look at me." And I look at the Santa. Expecting the whole middle America, sitting at the mall, waiting for the kids to calm down long enough to take a picture to send to Grandma type Santa. You know, old dude, picks up a little extra cash on the weekends while Mary Alice and Grady Junior piss on him.

I handed them over like that, knew better. But the line was long and I was there by myself. So Santa got peed on. "Not the first time today, Mister Edgars, won't be the last." And he's got patience, my sisters and brothers. I mean, PATIENCE.

This dude standing in front of me on the street corner of Venice Beach? He's got BUSINESS.

Not PATIENCE. Or even patience. No time for that when you got BUSINESS, am I right?

"You're going to have to stand up tonight, Grady. Stand and hold the fires of heaven." And so Santa gives me his rap, his story. That brother Grady is one of the elect, that kind of story.

Tonight at least. "Hey, Santa, I get where you're going with this, and where I'm at is, why me?" Because that's the question that never gets answered, from my humble point of view. Not cockroach humble, but I'm no Buddha, you see? And the stories they never quite say the "What for?" on a level your correspondent has ever been able to dig into. Get cool with.

And Santa, he grins at ol' Grady. "Because Dubronik ghosted me, Grady. Simple as that. Or, just maybe it's because the Universe decided you're worthy of the challenge. Don't let it go to your head." And then Santa he gets in his ride and takes off for the stars.

I wanted the Rudolph Red-Nose exit. I wanted it bad. Because, hey, if you're gonna do it, if you're gonna be the one to leave Grady standing there with a rock he didn't ask for, and a challenge he most definitely, I mean MOST DEFINITELY DID NOT VOLUNTEER FOR this fine evening.

Ain't you gotta give Grady a little bit of that holiday cheer, am I right? I'm right.

But that still ain't shining no lights on Grady. Only thing I've got, is a rock. And something like half a metric ton of reindeer poop. I may be exaggerating. For effect. It being my story, yeah?

Dubronik should have shown, right then and there. That's Grady's kind of luck, my sisters and brothers. Way it's always been. Cop shows up when Grady's not fixed for company. Only, no Willa with her notebook and badass disposition. Which was kind of disappointing, really.

A jail cell ain't much, but it can often be warm.

Santa's story didn't include all the details. Like the way the shadows moved around me. As if this rock I'd inherited needed company for its facets. As though the absence of light, the lack of reflection, the holes in Grady's perceptions called like to like.

I not being a hang around much for the way this was going type, I put a block or two between me and those hungry shadows. This worked. A little. The shadows in the new place must not have been as awakened to the little piece of unreality I'd tucked into my bag. And that's encouraging, in that particular moment. In case you're ever there, you know?

A piece of knowledge. A nugget of higher learning. I might have contemplated this information a little more deeply than I needed to. If running into Lizbet, like I did, indicated. "Oh, hey, Lizbet, I am sorry."

Lizbet was, I am sorry to report, not cool with Grady's entry. "What the hell's wrong with you, Grady?" And she proceeded to read me my faults.

I'm not saying I'm used to it. Lizbet being intense is kind of difficult to become inured to. I'd poked around the edges, once, and she'd told me "Because the pills mess with my head, Numbnuts. Screaming at people ain't right. Dumb to the world is worse."

She didn't mind me not looking at her, either. I kind of had business, now. New business, got shoved to the top of the agenda. The shadows here in Lizbet's alleyway became more and more solid as she proceeded. This worried me. "Lizbet," I started saying, when she looked like she was ready to hear something come out of my mouth.

Only, explanations seemed like they weren't going to do it. So instead of running my mouth, I reached in my bag and drew the stone.

Something in my mind turned over; from the back and the bottom it clawed at me. An idea, a greed, that's what was floating up from the ugly spaces. "Don't show don't share don't give away."

Lizbet reached for the stone. But before her hands got there, she stopped, then stuffed them back in her pockets. "Don't offer that which you cannot give, Grady."

Uh-huh, ok. "You know something I don't, Lizbet?"

She shuddered and turned her back on me. "Only that so long as you're carrying that stone, Grady, you have a place to be. And it's not here in my alley."

Grady being fully capable of taking a hint, I moved my feet. This was harder now. Everywhere was molasses, tar, my shoulders and my feet trapped in it, and I ignored the pains of stress drifting through my knees and hips.

I had to. The shadows were bad. What was coming behind them was worse. Harbingers begat doom, that's sort of the way it works. I heard fear torturing hate, slavering there. For Grady meat.

There are only ever two ways to go in Venice. If you're of a mind to stay in town, I mean. If you really want to beat feet, just head north or south and you're golden. Hang around, and there's the upscale works, the murals and the gyms and the restaurants from which we wring our daily sustenance, such as it is.

And then, there's the water. Beyond the wall and the sidewalk, the palms and the weight yard for those golden of sweat and occasionally, demeanor, the view of a million commercials. There, it's the water, mother of us all. Sea and salt that ever fills my nose and the calls of the birds, but now just surf because it's night and the seagulls are none of them awake at the moment.

I stuffed the stone back into its new place and made my way to where the sand meets the waves.

I don't come here much, to the ocean. Kind of funny, right? I'm a mountain kid. The ocean beyond just wasn't part of my existence, before I hit the bottom, of, of many things. It's good to know it's there when I need it, all else being gravy.

I guess I needed it that night. Foam overtopped surf and the constant rush in my ears; everpresent wind pressing me back, telling me the water wasn't for me. Catalina winked at me, along with a few dozen boats from here to Santa Monica and beyond. I wondered what it was like, Christmas on a boat?

Then I cast curiosity aside and turned back to the city. Santa's story, short on specifics in other ways, wasn't built of hints and riddles on this front.

That which came for the stone in my bag would come from the city. Well, from the east, at least: mountains and desert and a continent's worth of discontent brewed up my fate.

All the world enfolded me. Lights of humanity caught me up in a swirl of idea and hope and fear and love. Which is what it feels like, Pacific behind sand beneath and Southern California stretching all the world around. To me on that night and others, I am small and the people are not.

Behind the lights, that molasses and oil tar built to something I know not. I swam through it to get here and for now the mass of it waited.

For Willa Dubronik to step forth and tempt me. "You're carrying something that should be mine tonight, Grady."

"All you need do is walk a little farther, Officer."

She stopped at the end of the concrete. A little farther along, maybe she could have come closer to me, but my place was distant from the weight benches. Here there was sand, all the way to the little wall where the skaters made their day runs. Would she dare the sand?

Groomed, clean, as natural as anything else in the L.A. basin. Dubronik wasn't interested in testing it. "You're the one holding a suspicious object, Grady. Even if you survive this night, will you be ready for what the law of daylight holds in return?"

Come in and we'll go easy on you? "I don't hold anything against you, Officer. But I've been given something in trust."

Please, God, don't let me screw this up.

She reached then, and gave me a taste of what had taken Willa Dubronik's form on this night. Her hands and arms stretched, spine and legs too, talons of blood-red steel fangs of diamond they all of her came for me and what I held against her and her new masters.

Three feet. If I'd told you I'd judged that space, behind me water in front of me sand and my feet would have been wet a couple hours earlier, if I told you I'd planned it... I'd be a damned liar. I didn't plan it, yet her claws swiped the air and her jaws slammed shut just about three feet in front of my face.

Close enough for hot breath on my face and the sizzle of acid drool on the sand. Gravegoods stench held me, tasked me with vomiting ahead of the terror feasting on the images running through my mind. She showed me told me what awaited me. "I will claim your worthless hide for boots. Every stride I take in claiming this world will drive silver spikes through your soul. Your screams will delight my ears for eternity, Grady Edwards."

"Promises, promises." If she'd the ability just then, why was I still standing there? Instead of decorating some demon skinner's loom, I mean?

I held on to that, even as my knees threatened to dump me ass over teakettle, and my stomach to empty what dinner I'd scrounged as decoration for the dumbshit Grady getting in over his head party we were all getting ready for.

In Lizbet's alley, a part of me I didn't enjoy being in possession of had turned vicious, tried to, when I'd taken the stone from hiding. Here it came again, that needy ugly me, and now...

Now it reached for the stone, to show it to Dubronik. Show her my new power, my place in the world, my sudden promotion to Grady Matters.

I fought it, like I'd once fought for my family. Only, this time, I accomplished something. A little something.

I kept my hand in my pocket. And didn't pull the stone free. "Looks like your turn in the barrel is coming to a close, Officer."

And she was absorbed into the army of night arrayed before me as an afterthought. She didn't even have time for a cinematic look, or comment.

I was starting to appreciate that screenwriters must be in the habit of putting some polish on these things. If Grady ever finishes his screenplay... but not tonight. Ain't got time for running gags and perfect comic timing tonight, does Grady.

All the nightmares of the world are facing me. Terror and hate and that which they breed stand above and beyond and fill my vision. The city is gone, the world is gone, all that holds me now is the worst of us.

Sand and surf are as nothing. The force of them... I am torn down and wrung for the dregs. I am nothing, not even the void. All that I might have dreamt of has run screaming for the hills.

And been consumed.

I am also prepared. My hand reaches now for the stone, coal black and dark, polished somehow perhaps by hands shaking the way mine were at this moment. I had not the space for greed hate love nor money, all I had was the strength to pull that stone from my bag.

And that strength dribbled out somewhere below my elbow. Would I make it?

"You're supposed to light now," I told the stone. "You're supposed to show the stars and the moon and all the good things?"

I'd done my part. The stone was aloft in my grasp, and if I'd had any strength left I think maybe I'd have crushed it to diamond right there in my hand but the only bit left was just that strength sufficient to keep the stone there. I'd done what the man with the red suit and the flying sleigh had told me to do.

I'd done it, and the stone was as dark as the space in my heart where the memories of Mary Alice and Grady Junior and Lissa stay.

"You never told me this," I said to the stone, and the man who'd given it to me. Neither stone nor Santa being the responsive type, I fought the army of despondency the only way I could. Alone.

I don't go to those memories. And I am ashamed of this fact. I've run across a continent to avoid those memories. When Mary Alice took her first step, and then the two of us collapsed into astonished giggles. When Grady Junior bit me, to let me know his first tooth arrived.

When he yanked on Lissa's hair, or Mary Alice put a loop of it in her mouth. Lissa's frown, the way it scrunched up the space between her eyes. Love, before and after kids.

Before... before the hole in my mind where Grady cannot go. The one that he cannot look into. A gap. The one that the army before me laid hooks into, tore free and laid out for me to observe and weep over. Jealousy and vindictiveness; petty grievance; that look on your face when your baby brother gets a gift like you'd never have dreamt of. Those are the lines in which that army is drawn.

And I am all over dreaming of the laughter and the rustle of paper. The puppy stealing the ham from the table, and the tears in Lissa's eyes from how she can't control the giggles.

From such small sparks and others that are mine alone does Grady kindle the light of the world. Tears streamed down my face, joy sorrow love and maybe a little hope, they burned my cheeks and filled my tongue with salty wonderful bitter memory. And hope.

And wouldn't you know it, the stone it did light.

Damned near dropped it, Grady did. Which, if you're wondering, would very much have been a bad no good very naughty type thing. Only I didn't. Drop it. I held it there and beheld that which faced me.

Ugly. Tortured. Sinuous burned twisted wrought from a night when all the other guys have rented tuxes and the girls wear store bought dresses and you're standing there with an orchid when what she really wanted was something like everyone else had. Like that.

They tore me down still, whatever was left of Grady the army feasted on it and set tableau for my perusal. Every embarrassment, every humiliation. I wept at my frailty, at the ugly in me that cringed and called out to the beasts surrounding me.

I did that. And I looked up at the stone alight. Did it waver? I feared it did.

"Just give me a moment, friend Grady," Santa had said. An eon ago. "You'd be astonished what a moment can do."

It's not red. In case you're wondering. Mine wasn't. Maybe the lady standing on Bondi beach, facing her demons down, had seen a red beacon. Or the little family in Lagos, they could have. All the world across that night and I had companions in their ones and twos and threes, fighting back their fronts on the vast empty tides of despair.

Me, I saw a candle's flickering yellow dancing in my hand. It sank and it sparked and it wanted, more than a little, to give up the ghost right then and there. I'd like to say, Grady would, that he held it together, that he put his all into remembering.

I could tell you that story, if you wanted. But what really happened, I don't know for sure, except that somewhere between me wondering if changing a poopy diaper while Lissa chased the dog with the roll of wrapping paper in his mouth around our little apartment was the best or worst or both type of memory to giggle over at this precise moment in time, and that little yellow flame wandering off into the night, we between us found our joint purpose.

And that light burned then as bright as the sun. And we held, me and my little bit of starry universe, we held up the pillars of the world. Long enough for Santa to finish his BUSINESS, if you know what I mean.

They knew when they'd been beat, and the army faded from the scene just then and there. Even the remnant of Officer Dubronik eased her way on into the begone, with not even a parting viciousness for me. Which, hey, kind of rude, but what are you gonna do?

If you're Grady, you're gonna stand there between collapse and vindictiveness, with a holy swell of righteousness you didn't know you had bubbling up from the ugly side of you. And you'll stare up at your candle of joy and you'll wonder if you're a paladin tonight, if since you've got this weapon maybe you've got the will and the duty to go out and right some wrongs.

Clean up the joint, is where I'm headed as all the starry world whirls itself back into my view. That's what Grady's giving his all to, when her face and her voice come into my head.

"It's time to let go now, Grady," the Mrs. to the Santa-type dude whispers to me.

And if you believe Santa has BUSINESS... she has TERRIBLE PURPOSE, beauty and wisdom and there ain't no hint of warm cider; she's as cold as blue steel, is the Mrs. Claus, when she's laying down the rules of the road to Grady, reaching above the needs of the moment is Grady and I know it.

So, I stuff myself back into myself. I blow on the candle so bright, and tell it "You done good, but we're past our bit." And the flame it juggled a bit, it danced a bit, it brought a smile to my eyes and my mouth a bit. And then it went out.

I'd tell you she, or maybe the Santa, came to reclaim their rock. Except Grady took a nap, collapsed into the sand in a heap, right at that very moment. So I can't say, not being a witness to the event, where the rock went and how.

I woke to Lizbet dragging me across the sand. "What's up?" I wondered.

"I'm dragging your scrawny ass out of the way of the tide, Grady. I figure, if you're gonna save the world, leaving you to the sharks is poor payment."

Which, ok. If anyone's going to ask Grady's opinion on the matter, I for one have got to agree with the sentiment. I made her stop, long enough to recover something like a moment's dignity. Or, you know, sit there on the sand and shake like a three-year old with a full bladder, either's good. "Where can I buy you breakfast, Lizbet?"

"I'm buying, Numbnuts. You couldn't scrape up change for a Coke and a Ding-Dong at the moment. The Tooth Fairy paid good last month."

Which, that's Lizbet's story, the whole Tooth Fairy gig. And I ain't stepping into her story, because Lizbet's got opinions about that sort of thing.

Me, I just know one thing. Some Santa-type dude shows up with a lump of coal for you? Be ready, my brothers and sisters.

Your part might just be getting started. Which is what I'm saying, you know?

Thursday, December 17, 2020

Impermanent Whispers - A Story of Pikka the Forgotten

This is one of those stories... well, yes. Once I started, I knew what I'd got myself into.

Of course, this being a Pikka story, one might suggest being cautious...

Impermanent Whispers - A Story of Pikka the Forgotten by M. K. Dreysen

The University gathers whispers of memory to itself as readily as a pancake attracts syrup.

Some say that's part of its purpose.

Even today, when wandering the University's three hundred and sixty-six acres, if you listen carefully, you'll hear many versions of the Prisoner's story.

Far to the South, where ice covers all and the winds tear and grasp, that's where the hopes and dreams of children go. When they've been released; before they go on to wherever it is that such things eventually disappear to.

At that particular spot, for some reason, there stands a column of ice. The column of ice, carved perhaps by some gods unknown, or just the wind, rises from the focus point of a vast glacier-covered bowl.

However this bowl might have formed, it serves to focus all of this world's childhood wishes into a single point.

The column.

The interior of this column is carved; it is an ordered place. Rooms stack upon one another, icy steps connecting each of the string of beads until they reach the room at the top.

Every surface within these rooms weeps. The column itself weeps. Lost, dreaming perhaps, in the mist. Warm air from somewhere, just enough to keep the bottom-most room comfortable, drifts up to work a tiny, continuous war against the ice and the vast cold outside.

A prisoner wanders this column of ice.

Scratching. Daily, he chooses a surface, collapses or stands or scrabbles up walls to the ceiling as necessary, where he sweeps aside the fain sheen of moisture and turns his talons, some mysterious golden alloy, to the task of recording the whispered dreams of the children.

Every night, long after the Prisoner has exhausted himself with this ritual, the mist gathers, drop by drop, over his daily work.

And erases it under a clean new sheet of ice.

Excepting only during the hours of his daily ablutions, the walls hold no record of the prisoner's scribbling.

The walls do not allow the prisoner to record these dreams.

This much of the prisoner's story is known to all. Conjurers, alchemists, those who deal with spirits and other planes, they tend to stop there.

Even most necromancers do so. Stop there. They do not attempt to read anything more into the story; they do as all these other students do. Shrug. Say "I'm supposed to be frightened of what, exactly?".

You've heard it yourself, haven't you?

That's why you're here.

What's that? You want to know why? How? What it was, exactly, that the prisoner did to earn himself such a fate?

Of course you do.

I've had my eye on you for some time. You're ambitious.

More than that, you're curious. You've come to this place not just to raise yourself above.

But to understand the world, our world. You seek understanding beyond all who've gone before, yes?

I recognize the gleam in your eye.

Yes, the Prisoner earned his fate.

He too carried that magic combination, thirst for knowledge and the desire to use it.

Which is why I will tell you the story. In some faint hope that you'll learn what lessons an old fart like me can yet still provide. Sit, pour yourself a cup, and listen well...

****

The stranger, clad in remnants even the desert had abandoned as a lost cause, covered in sand and burns, dragged herself to the edge of the little town.

A little oasis, this town sat on the edge of the desert. The town fed itself from springs in bedrock below, shaded itself with trees that clawed greedily at that vast flowing wealth.

The stranger crawled to the horse trough. She pumped the handle, once, twice; stopped at the trickle that resulted. Stopped, a rest perhaps, and then she pumped hard and fair and fast.

The water rushed to fill the trough, and the stranger climbed in after it. She lay there until the cool water worked its way into her pores. Then she sat up, scrubbed hair and face, arms and feet.

And only then did the stranger pump water to drink. She climbed from the trough to drink directly from the flowing pump head, hands grasping at the precious stream after each working of the handle.

She knelt there, alternating between gentle sips and splashes across her face and head.

Ignoring the watching children.

At least, that's what the children, three of them, told their master. Later, after the stranger found her way to the tavern.

"She gave no indication that she knew you were there?" their master asked.

The older two, sister and brother, shook their heads. The youngest stuck her thumb in her mouth.

"Did she pay the tavern owner?" the man continued.

The brother shrugged. "We didn't follow her in. You told us..."

"Not to directly interfere in the doings of adults. Yes." The man shook his head.

He could afford the show of emotion. Even without the binding.

He looked at each of the three, gauging the strength of that binding. And their likelihood of success. "I'd like one of you to discover that little fact for me. Whether this stranger carries any money with her. And, actually," and here he paused, to lift a finger in the air as if remembering something.

Something minor. Just a small addendum to his list of discoveries. "Actually, I'd like you to discover one other thing for me. Does this stranger possess power. Of any sort?"

The oldest of the three, the sister, jerked. The youngest stepped behind her cousin and buried her face in her hands.

The brother didn't, couldn't have seen these reactions. Caught in the master's gaze, a step or so ahead of the others, he didn't jerk.

He did, however, look confused. "Power over..."

"Well, anything," the man said. "Titles from distant lands. Countess, duchess," the man offered when the boy frowned. "Even merchant, or wife or daughter to such. Power comes from many sources. But."

And now the boy did jerk.

"But. If you discover even the barest hint that the woman does carry power, true power, my sort of power... you will bring this precious fact to me as swiftly as the desert falcon kills its dinner."

The boy nodded. And so the man turned his gaze, and the power behind it, to the other children.

The oldest nodded her assent; the man raised an eyebrow.

The girl eased her hand around behind her back, grasped her cousin.

But didn't bring the younger girl around. Into the man's view. "She'll do what we need."

"Master?"

"We'll do what you need. Master."

"Of course. Be about it."

And so the children went out to discover what they could of the stranger.

The boy prepared himself for anything. He followed the girls away from the master's dwelling, focusing himself on what he imagined the task would be.

"Go inside, find the tavern keeper. Ask about..." and here he paused. "Well, ask about the stranger. You're curious."

Curious, whispered the binding. A new face, from elsewhere. Anyone would want to know about a new face in town. Of course.

He imagined it.

And then he faced the stranger.

She'd found her way to the tavern's porch. After finding some new clothing, the boy noted. Or, at least, newer than what she'd had on. She had shoes, as well.

They were propped up on the porch's railing.

She also had her head leaned back against the chair's back, and appeared to be sleeping.

The parade of three stopped at the end of the porch. Arrested by their surprise. "Do we just ask her?"

The oldest shook her head. The youngest nodded.

The boy decided to believe that his cousin meant he should just go ahead and ask the stranger.

He gulped at that.

The stranger kept her eyes closed as the boy made his way, slowly, to her.

"Ma'am," he tried. Only, the word didn't clear his mouth. It didn't feel like it did, anyway, and that's sort of the same thing, isn't it?

So he coughed, and tried again. "Ma'am?"

The stranger shifted her head a little, loosening the muscles in her neck. "Yeah?"

She still didn't open her eyes.

"Ma'am, we just wanted to know," he began.

"Where I'm from?" she replied. Eyes still closed.

The sun had begun to set. It came up from the desert, it lay itself down on the other side of town. Behind the tavern. So the porch lay in shadow.

The stranger lady didn't need to keep her eyes closed. But they remained pulled down, closed to whatever lay behind.

The kid focused on her eyelids.

They'd scabbed over at some point; blisters. His own eyes itched fiercely, so much that he gripped his fingers into fists to keep from raising them. To maybe touch her eyes, no his eyes.

"You three watched me come here, didn't you?"

The boy jerked around; his sister's eyes had grown wide now, and staring. He turned back. "Yes, ma'am."

"And anyone would want to know about a new face in town. Yes?"

He nodded. She would know.

And she did. "You're just... curious, is all?"

Even with her eyes still closed. The boy, neither his own will nor the binding that stretched, tugged at the base of his skull, neither of these together asked in the vault of his mind whether and how she'd chosen her words.

"I'd give you a penny for your bravery, lad, but as you've seen, I'm currently dependent on the kindness of strangers." She patted at the pockets of her new pants and shirt. "I'll have to owe you for it."

"What do we tell..." the master, but the boy caught himself before that particular word jumped out.

Behind, his sister gasped.

The stranger turned her head now, still-lidded gaze somehow taking in the girls at the end of the porch. She turned her head back.

The boy felt something, the briefest of weights as her self-blinded regard passed over him. "Well, I mean..."

She chuckled. The sound soothed him, a bit.

Like they had a secret between them, him and the stranger. "I lost my caravan, lad. I'd decided to chance the desert, the shorter route from where I was to where I wanted to be. Here's a tip. Never trust a shortcut, not entirely."

The kid cocked his head over in confusion. He took shortcuts all the time, after all. Between houses, across the town's precious pasture land, orchards. "Don't use shortcuts?"

"Oh, by all means use them. Just don't let yourself be too comfortable with a new one you're not familiar with." She chuckled again.

The boy felt the laughter, the wave pressure of it. And the way it washed over him to include his sister and their cousin. "I'm supposed to ask about whether you have power. And titles, or something."

None of them, sister, cousin, boy, stranger, reacted to these words. They didn't gasp.

The binding slept, for some reason. And the stranger had brought them into her circle. The words came out the way words should.

When one's master isn't watching. The stranger shifted her head a little, weaving it now, side to side. "And I wouldn't want to interfere in your duties." She snorted. "No one of consequence listens to my advice. My words carry no social weight. There are precious few, perhaps none really, who acknowledge the truth of my doings."

He smiled; well sort of. If you can smile and frown at the same time. "The caravan master didn't fear losing you in the desert, did he?"

"Clever boy. Any other questions?"

The boy had more questions than he knew what to do with. The stranger had walked out of the desert. From somewhere in the broad world, she'd been abandoned in the middle of the world of sand and sun and death.

And she'd survived.

Those bandits knew their business. They wouldn't have left her just anywhere. The boy wanted the story.

But the binding had been, remained quiet.

It hadn't disappeared. The boy still felt it. And he knew, now, that the stranger had given him all the answer he was going to get.

He'd made it all the way back to the master's own porch, after repeating what she'd told him and having this recollection confirmed by his sister, before the boy measured the stranger's words.

And how carefully she'd chosen them.

On the other end of the little town, the stranger waited to open her eyes until after the children had taken themselves well out of view. She turned her head, as if listening.

But that was the only movement she made until the children had been released from their master's demands for the night. Not that anyone in the town could have known this. As the boy followed his sister and cousin back to their home, the stranger brought her feet down, stood, and made her way up to the room the tavern keeper had lended.

Or into the shadows, anyway. Darkness did its work, that was certain.

At the master's dwelling, after releasing the children, the man returned himself to a room that, to his certainty, no other living soul had ever entered.

If one had, they wouldn't have been impressed. The room would have been perfectly at home in any well-off residence. Books. A desk. Candles, and various small tools.

The man sat at the desk and addressed himself to the roll of brass sitting in the middle of it. The brass sat a rod of olive within a frame of the same.

So that the man could unroll the scroll of thin brass. The words etched on the sheet flickered in the candlelight. The man traced these words, down to the last one written there.

A fair space lay between the last word, and the end of the brass sheet. Enough, he knew, to fold in the next sheet, from the pile of them kept locked away in the desk's lone drawer.

He didn't run his finger along the edge of the brass. Even though he longed to test the edges. Something in him always wanted to insure the neatness of the scroll.

But the thin sheet would, had many times before he'd finally broken the habit, claim a drop of blood, or perhaps more, for the privilege.

The man slowly rolled the scroll back to closed, then checked his etching tools, and the acidic ink base. Like the brass sheets, every ounce of ink and the acids necessary to properly mark the brass weighed in the man's mind.

How many, much, of each. He knew the count. The weights. He traced a thought over the locked drawer, to gauge the stack of brass.

It had been long years since he'd actually counted the sheets. No need, now, he'd learned to assure himself that the stack would not, could not just whittle itself away while he worried himself at other things.

He didn't allow a breath to mar the metal surface, nor a fingerprint. He'd a set of cloths and chemicals to polish it when the next sheet came into play, but also enjoyed his reflection.

The man closed the drawer, traced the lock into place again, then rose, quickly and suddenly and hard, to stalk the room.

As though he suspected someone lingered in the shadows. And wanted to catch them watching over his shoulder.

But no. Even with his senses, his mind's eye open and all of his spiritual powers grasping and pulling at the shadows they revealed nothing.

So he knelt in front of a silver stand, plain, ending in only a flat shelf. Which held in turn a tall thin candle. The master leaned over the candle and focused his mind upon the wick.

It remained unlit; but it should. He was no apprentice. This candle had a different purpose.

It would light itself under his focus only when the next child's first true wish came on the winds.

When the candle sat there, stubbornly unlit, the man stood, nodded, and pulled a cloak across his shoulders. Then he strode out into the night.

He walked the streets in search of a wish that hadn't yet come. Not the easy wishes, the begging for food or blanket or a favorite toy. No, the next two children, neither of them closely related to the trio but both within a year of the youngest cousin, crept day by day to the point where one of them would utter, mind or lip, some true important desire.

It could be in answer to that timeless parent's question, "What do you want to be when you grow up? A farmer like daddy?" Or a soldier, a priest.

A master, and the man chuckled. No, none of these children would ever dare dream to grow up to challenge the town's master. No.

The binding held nothing but memory's weight against the minds of their parents. But generations of the town's inhabitants knew that weight intimately. So very far back in time had the master's yoke lain upon them that the town itself breathed because he willed it.

That's what the man believed now, anyway. But he much preferred interacting through the children. They did his bidding without the need for persuasion. Even if their parents remembered him with fear, they'd all outgrown his direct reach.

Which is why he in turn stalked the night, listening for this next wish, and the one that would come, he wagered from long experience, soon after. The candle waiting, and the one to follow, would light soon, and the master would gain two more followers.

The necromancer followed this ritual three nights running. Each night he read through his scroll of captured spirit. Each night he gauged his supply of brass sheets to be etched and joined to the scroll, the acids and inks that would embed the spirits within the metal, the pens that would channel them there.

The candle. The children, breathing in sleep on the other side of the windows the master of the town stood next to.

Each night, as well, he stopped and turned, suddenly. Responding to some wayward viewing, perhaps?

Just as had done for so long, the necromancer prepared to steal a small piece of spirit from one of the town's souls. One by one.

And forever would he hold that piece of soul against adulthood, age, death. The necromantic master of the little town would even hold the spirit piece he'd greedily taken for all the ages after death.

Let none approach the master here. The mausoleums groaned with his chains. He'd built an army, never used but always waiting. The town protected him.

And he needed only this small claim against their selves.

The master neglected to count his sheets of brass. As well. While he did these things.

The stranger, waiting in the shadows, noted this that first night. And that the sheets of brass were so thin that only a very, very careful counting could have revealed her borrowing.

She lifted the top sheet, let her eyes and senses roam over the second one until she'd convinced herself of its similar enough perfection to the sheet in her hand.

Then she returned to the rooms the tavern owner had lended. "You might as well. Even if you're not paying, we've the room and the need for new stories. Stay until there's a caravan master we trust, lady, tell us a few well-built lies, and be welcome."

The stranger scrounged her materials from the world around.

And then, under the new moon, the stranger etched a symbol across the sheet of brass.

Satisfied with her work, she straightened back on her heels, and watched the shadows draw near. To explore her work.

To gather over it, and to then absorb into the symbol.

The shadows wreathed over the sheet of brass, a roiling mass that condensed, congealed, and then faded away.

Taking the symbol with it. The stranger nodded over the once-more pristine sheet of metal.

The next night, before the town's master even began his ritual of patience, something had changed in the air. "Oh, it will happen, won't it?" he whispered to the scroll.

He withdrew the top-most sheet of brass without a glance; wiped it with a mixture of wine vinegar and a peculiar green salt. Set about folding, then braising into place his new addition.

Set out pen and ink. And when the candle at last lit, he reverently walked it to the desk, and set about capturing the child's first true wish.

Between the careful etching, and then another wash to smooth and preserve, this took some hours. At last, the candle just flickering at the last of its wax, the necromancer removed the scroll from the desk, and unrolled his masterpiece across the floor.

Generations of true wishes lay at his feet, sparkling under the candle's light. He knelt at the head of the scroll, reading, drinking in each of his prizes.

Listening as the corpses turned in the graveyard in response, or that might perhaps have been just his imagination. In either case, he didn't notice that the hem of his pants leg had caught the edge of the brass sheet.

He progressed further, through the last of those in the mausoleums to the first of the still living; he stretched now, next to the sheet, his legs longer than they had begun the night, thinner.

His waist stretched, and then ribs, as he read through to the parents of the four children he had most recently acquired. Neck shoulders hands reached across the full length of the scroll to the three and the fourth.

He noticed this not at all, imagined himself laying next to his life's work, reading the careful mark of his hand.

Nor did he notice how the scroll's head leaf twisted over, capturing his feet legs waist as it began rolling itself up.

The candle guttered now.

The candle ran out of wax.

And left only a scroll of brass, sitting in the middle of the floor.

The stranger stepped from the shadows, claimed the scroll and a leather satchel to carry it in.

She returned to the tavern, to tell stories until the next caravan came along.

An eternity, or perhaps only a night, later, the necromancer awoke in a room of ice. He had no memory of how he came to be there.

What he did have was the whisper. He staggered from the room, climbed step by step to the top of the icy tower, thrilled at the sound.

Whispers. All the world's whispers.

Every child's first true wish gathered here, singing their song before departing. The necromancer wept, true joy over what he had discovered. He rushed from the room desperate to capture these wishes.

He came to the bottom of the tower, searched for tools.

Noticed that his fingernails had now become talons, sharp and exquisite knives of golden-threaded brass.

Noticed as well that the walls of ice lay before him as smooth and clear and clean as the most polished of metals. The necromancer took himself to the walls of ice with a hot flash of joy. Here lay all the space and more that he needed to build himself an army of the night.

Dawn's first rays hinted over the snow-covered plain around the tower; the necromancer stumbled to the warm dark room at the base of the tower.

He wept himself to sleep, clad in the joy of his work.

Awoke the next night. With no memory of how he arrived in that place. Only the song of true wishes swirling through the tower of ice. Talons, pens of gold-threaded brass cladding his fingers.

And clean, clear, unmarked walls of ice stretching to the sky above.

****

You shake your head, student? You believe an old professor is attempting to teach you a moral, aren't you?

Don't worry, I know better. But, before you go out into the world, know this.

Rumor claims that others, bright talents, have gone out from these halls to chase down the truth of this tale. That they've gone out into the world, as you would, and been drawn to that icy vale.

Drawn there to be captured. Taken, their souls switched so that the prisoner might walk free, wearing a new young face.

Heh. Some even claim that I myself am that original prisoner. Sitting here, sending young seekers out as bait, and then claiming whichever survives the contest for my own new body.

Silly, yes? Think about it. If I were so very powerful, so very brave, why would I then cloister myself away here? Behind these ivy-covered walls?

Fear? Of her? Why, child, the story I've related to you is centuries old. No, no, my dear wonderful student, that stranger was no necromancer, no thief of life. She's long since gone to her reward. There's no possible way she could be lurking about, waiting for some old withered monster to poke their head out of their hole.

Don't you worry at these tales told to children. Go out into the world. Seek out the stories and the powers that lie behind them. And, when you've come at last to that dark snow-bound plain.

Return here, and tell me the story of your deeds, there and elsewhere. Truly will I record your story, here in my library, for the knowledge and the power of it.

On a sheet of brass? Oh, now don't be ridiculous.

These days, I much prefer skin.

Tuesday, December 15, 2020

This is vacation?

At least in theory, I'm supposed to be on vacation from the day gig this week. Which works about as well you might expect.

I have a couple of goals over these next few weeks, ahead of the transition to next year: exercise and daily writing. The usual suspects for a scribbler, however high or low, at least from what I can observe.

Both of my daily habits here hit the floor with a clatter a couple of months ago. And I've only fitfully returned to them. So the phone calls and the emails today were not exactly favorable to goals.

Such is life. I got my exercise in, but the words not quite yet. That's tomorrow, aside from this little note to you, dear reader, to let you know I'm sailing into the "quiet" part of the year with no real worries on my end. Here's hoping that you too are doing well, I know it's been rough.

Sunday, December 13, 2020

Checking the mechanical integrity

Checking the mechanical integrity

Let me then proceed to do things poorly.

In the hope that perhaps some of this may yet be useful.

Sometimes you just need to throw it out there whether it's well built or not.

The past few months have been a rough trek; fruitful in more ways than I can count. Rough in enough ways that it's been difficult accounting for the net positive flow.

A while back, I mentioned here that I needed to balance the differences. That I'd taken a look at where I was spending my time, and realized that the fiction writing needed to be more up front than I'd allowed it to be.

There's more to that than just time. I'm not all that well screwed together. Now, I realize that I was seeing the front end of what became a deeper swale.

I did something last night that I haven't done in a while. Haven't been able to do in a while.

I laughed at myself. And truly, for reasons that don't much matter other than that I am just as silly a fool as I've ever been.

I've a few purely mechanical things I need to institute. Breaks and brakes. I don't need to wait two years to make myself take a vacation, for one thing.

Do you know how much you mean to me? Yes, *you*. You're a light in the storm, you're a freshening wind on a hot still day.

You're the story when I need one, the outrage when I can't allow myself to. The game and the rhyme and the sound and the thump'n bass...

the fingernail scratching a trail up my spine. the hand at the base of my neck. the warm throaty voice in my ear at three in the morning.

You. Named, unnamed, you're a lifeline and I'm so grateful to you you can't imagine. I'm a poor correspondent, but I am full to bust with love for you and what you do.

Being a little loosely put together means that I can tear things apart when I need to. Pull the mechanism to get a good luck at how the wear surfaces have been holding up.

And, when everything is apart, when I've had a good look at myself, put it back together again for the next stage of this thing we call life. I have my giggle, I have my goals, I have a handful of well-worn tools and a pile of similarly used parts.

This is where I am. I look through a screen that, however clear it might first appear, gets awful fuzzy when I try and view where you are, what you're going through.

I hope, if you need me, what I put here, now and before and ever after this moment means a little something to you. Helps you. Or, if not, that you'll find the someone else who's there for when you need. Let's you and me look past the dark.

To the dancing sparks blowing out from the campfire.

Thursday, December 10, 2020

What Paint Renders - A Story of Pikka The Wanderer

This week's story finds us in the company of a new friend, dear reader. Pikka, it seems, has found herself a new path to travel. One, that, among other things, appears to have also revealed another of Pikka's names. Come, let's you and me together discover...

What Paint Renders - A Story of Pikka the Wanderer by M. K. Dreysen

The wizard traveled incognito. No fanfare, no robes.

No fear; at least, none of the rising off the superstitious kind.

Loen Bu Onigen prided himself on the fact that he could travel without notice. He smiled when the carriage hacks simply accepted his coin without comment. At how the innkeepers gave him the third or, usually, fourth best rooms, just enough up from the common rooms to go along with the wizard's tailored cotton and wool.

He told himself how well he had made this accession to the realities of travel each night when Loen Bu Onigen sat down to his journal. Here, he wrote of his days, what imaginative ideas he'd been fortunate to weave from the ether while awaiting the miles.

And, of how well he played the part of a simple man of vague commerce. Perhaps a factor's second, sent along to maintain proper scheduling and contractual obligations.

The reasons for the charade didn't get much mention under Bu Onigen's pen. That sailors, even with their powder lockers cunningly wrought and spelled to prevent any wizardly access, carried suspicions, even superstitions of wizards and their propensity to sink ships passed beneath Bu Onigen's notice.

Not that he would not have preferred the notice he went without. Bu Onigen rather enjoyed the regalia and, dare he mention it, automatic wince of fear whenever a mundane visitor realized the presence they had entered.

And, Bu Onigen admitted, to his journal at least and only, that his employer, the Count Re Thekosila, might well have hired Bu Onigen with such effects in mind.

Court politics did consume some few hours of Bu Onigen's time. But Bu Onigen made his way from Thekosila, through the Old State, and thence to the Great Bay and the island principality of Univao, this trip at least, on his own time.

A vacation, he might have said. Though the Count had requested a quick trip north on the return trip. "Baroness Hekach intimated of possibilities, Loen. Under the circumstances, you'll be the perfect envoy. Commit me to no promises, carry back only information."

The Baroness being in possession of some few of the islands of the Archipelago of Ressina, home of white wines so dry your eyebrows threatened to merge, olives that produced oil so clear you could almost breathe it.

And, if she kept to her family's heritage, a fecundity of epic proportion. Assuming the Count were to be the one to provide whatever combination of virtues the Baroness found most appealing in a match.

The wizard carried doubts, along with his anonymity. He set aside his doubts some few days out into the Great Bay. In favor of a minor bout of seasickness, he assured his journal.

And, his preparations.

He'd received reports of the smoke plume; he'd only seen it with his flesh and blood eyes on the second day out from the shores of the Old State.

Loen Bu Onigen had spent years preparing for the volcano's eruption. He fought the urge to climb the mast, kick the lookout from her perch, and monopolize the daylight.

Fire, earth, and air met some few hundred miles away. The winds sped Bu Onigen to his study of the place where they merged.

But the white-grey plume reaching to the vault of blue varied little, boring enough at distance so that Bu Onigen set aside his desperation. The time drew close.

Each evening, after dinner amidst the swaying lanterns and the unpolished company, Bu Onigen repaired with the sunset to his cabin. There, he carefully opened his trunk. Sorted through paints, canvas, brushes and charcoal.

They all looked so mundane. But oh, the lengths he had gone to to manufacture these paints. Dragon's blood of course. Jewels, each more rare than the last. Precious metals.

Deeds, wicked and heroic. To capture the wail of a starving child had been difficult. The last gasp of Cheral, as the legendary knight succumbed to his final injuries, near impossible.

The shadow of the conqueror, the greed of the Mother of Beggars, the silence of the village gossip. Bu Onigen had worked for years to imbue his paints with these essences.

All to capture a moment.

Bu Onigen revealed to his journals some small sense of trepidation. When he opened the trunk each night, he expected the shadows to come in close.

He looked for the lantern's flicker. The last bit of sunlight's curiosity. A breath of wind, a shift of leather.

Some indication that he was watched.

He confessed in his pages that part of him felt that Bu Onigen should be acclaimed for what he sought. Enough of his old University colleagues had heard of his goals, his aims. They knew his ambition.

And yet, he wrote, none appeared to have followed the plume, as he had. They seemed to have, if they'd seen it at all, made no connection to their old classmate.

Bu Onigen confessed himself disappointed in the lack of attention. And completely unsurprised that the poor bastards had lived down to his opinion of them. The untalented wretches, raised up by the minor accident of lighting a candle, slamming a door with only their will, all the small tricks suitable to the presence of the University's examiners.

Unlike himself, he wrote blushingly, scion of bloodlines and well-documented familial tradition.

Soon enough the ship carried Bu Onigen to the isle of Univao; after a certain point, he spoke to his journals of only the trip. No hints of interest from those around him were given to ink and parchment.

And precious little description of the taverna, hostelry, and general store in which Bu Onigen took rooms at the foot of the mountain. Only the volcano appears with true detail in the wizard's journal.

A tall, near perfectly symmetrical cone. Bu Onigen watched the plume rise into the evening. He stepped into the hostel's capacious garden.

The matron had told him of the eruption. "The lava and flames spew from the southeast face," she said. "My cousin Emgala lived there, she came to us for safety. The lava will have taken her village by now."

The hostelry lay at the foot of the northwest face of the volcano. "How far is it, to walk to Emgala's village?" Bu Onigen asked the matron.

"Most of a day, if the track's still there."

If Bu Onigen asked of the matron's family, or of her concerns that the volcano might send lava and destruction to this side of the mountain, he didn't record it in his journals.

What he did record is the rental of a mule, to carry his paints, canvas, and a night's worth of supplies.

Bu Onigen found that, with some attention to the beast's knowledge of the path, the mule made shorter work of the travel between hostel and appropriate vantage point than the matron had warned him.

But then, he told himself, he had no need to come fully to Emgala's village. Only to a suitable viewing angle. Bu Onigen found himself a clear, flat outcropping, a promontory rising above the twisting traveler's path.

The mule, complaining but surefooted, negotiated the small faint track to the outlook. This tabletop vista allowed Bu Onigen room enough to tether the mule, unload his paint cases, and set up his easel.

And the stone setting gave him the epic view of the eruption he'd come so far to see.

As recorded in his journal, each trip, an hour or so after noon would find Bu Onigen sketching on canvas and parchment. Then, in the early evening Bu Onigen repaired himself to a bedroll for a nap.

After sunset, when only the fires of hell and stars above lit his work, Bu Onigen stepped again to his easel, now with paint and brush.

Time is my enemy, he recorded.

He tracked his painting in hours worked. No descriptions of the canvas, a few small acknowledgments of the violence of the continuing eruption.

Complaints of saddle sores, a troublesome backache, a brief mention of a shepherdess. Bu Onigen noted she appeared of an age to be perhaps bereft of daughter or son to take up the crook, or just possibly with children too young for the job. He passed her sitting on a smaller version of his viewing niche, the third night of his work.

And after that, as with other possible distractions, Bu Onigen's records dwindled to nothing.

The journals end with Bu Onigen celebrating what should likely have been his final trip. I am finished, he told himself. One final night beneath the fires of heaven and hell.

One more trip up the mountain, and I will have captured the Gates.

The journals of Loen Bu Onigen end there. The hostel matron, knowing little of her visitor's status, preserved the journals and a few of the wizard's personal items.

The Count's investigators found no evidence of the wizard, his paints, or the canvas to which Bu Onigen had addressed himself. The mule returned to the hostel, alone and unharmed, carrying only the wizard's bedroll.

The Count found himself forced to seek answers from source he would have preferred to avoid.

"If he captured the Gates as well as he attempted," said Yetimina Eb Zhedrin, a sorcerer of no mean talents employed by the Count's chief rival, and brother-in-law, the Duke of Wedde, "Then I suspect that Bu Onigen likely fell into the damned thing."

"And the painting?" the Count asked.

"Most likely, the painting was sucked into the same passage. In my experience, that's usually the way of such things. An accidental sacrifice to close the opening he'd created, but a sacrifice nonetheless."

The Count raised an eyebrow. "You seem so certain with precious little evidence."

"Trust me," Yetimina replied. "We would know damned well if the Gates remained open. The demons from the other side of the Gates would have destroyed Univao in hours. No, the Gates are closed. But," and now Yetimina did show her chief concern, "There is the possibility that the painting itself survives."

The Count frowned. "Meaning?"

"We'd best hope no-one of consequence ever discovers the existence of such a thing, my lord. If it has somehow survived, forget it. Let some bandit lord raise it above his mantle, let his grandchildren shake their heads in disgust every time they pass it, and then throw it into an attic to be forgotten as soon as death allows."

When Yetimina departed, Count Reynald Re Thekosila closed the book on his missing wizard. He'd expected his brother-in-law's sorcerer to allay his fears, to tell him that Bu Onigen had simply walked too close to the lava.

Not for the damnable woman to leave him fretting over the possible fate of an unknown and unknowable slapping of paint on canvas.

He laced the folder closed, and brooded over events that lay far from his control.

****

The wizard sat his easel amidst waves of heat pouring from a river of molten rock. His mind drifted between present and future, here and there.

I've wrought well, Bu Onigen told himself.

He'd feared that, after all his work, the Gates wouldn't manifest. Some writers took the view that all major phenomenon contained such gates. Storms opened the world of Water and Air. Earthquakes tore routes to planes filled with diamond and mud.

Other writers, Bu Onigen but the most recent among them, allowed that such gates could indeed open. But whether they did so in ways accessible to mere mortals was another question entirely.

No matter his talent and skills, Bu Onigen knew that he could not safely walk to the heart of the volcano. Nor could he travel in response to the distant news of an eruption occurring in far distant lands.

If the way were to open, this was the place and this was his time.

Through the worry and the fear, his artist's skills, poor as they might be reckoned by the standards of true artists, had more than risen to the task. Bu Onigen congratulated himself.

Though he'd used an awful lot of red. No matter, the subject demanded crimson hues.

The black stone threaded the image nicely, he thought. And the smoke and steam framed the lava.

And the Gates. They rose from the fires; the opening itself flickered within the canvas and the oils like a dragon fly with a hangover.

Hanging over the lava field, a world appeared. Creatures moved within it. Pillars of onyx and diamond framed this wavering glimpse; brass and steel wove arches between the columns.

The frame he'd drawn captured, and best of all held closed the passage between and through the Gates.

The laced steel of his framework swelled intermittently, but imagined barrier held true. Through the haze, Bu Onigen watched a shadow, human sized if not slightly smaller than that, push on the Gates.

And move two worlds in response. Bu Onigen shuddered; the being in the painting turned from that which bound it to regard the wizard.

And smiled. Even as he knew his mundane eyes couldn't possibly see the diabolical grin of the being, Bu Onigen's third eye lingered on the teeth.

And the skin peeled back from them.

The skin at the corner of the creature's mouth cracked, dripped blood, red as any human's but sparkling with power. The unknowable figure reached up, wiped the blood clean, and licked its fingertip clean.

Bu Onigen looked to his paintbrush, laid aside on the stone. The paint in the brush sparkled, a faint speckle trace, and then burst into flame. The wizard gasped, then turned back to his painting.

But he'd done his work. The creature appeared in the painting, though Bu Onigen knew his hands had captured only the Gates themselves.

He returned the creature's grin. He'd done his work. Loen Bu Onigen had bound the Gates in blood and whispers.

And thus Loen Bu Onigen controlled the Gates. "They will open when and as I determine, nameless one."

Bu Onigen watched through his mind's eye as the being became ever more human like. The wizard wondered if this were an effort to become more appealing, or whether the close distance between worlds had caused the creature's facade to meld more closely to his mortal expectations.

The being smiled, cracking its lips, freeing its blood again, and made ready to attempt some other spell.

Before it could accomplish the intention, Bu Onigen draped the painting in cloth and turned his mind away from the Gates. He banished all thought. Every intention.

Excepting only the need to break camp. The mule flicked its ears, but made no complaints as the wizard packed his bags once more.

The two wound their way through the early morning light. The wizard practiced emptying his mind, leaving himself to live only in the now of trail and mule and a route home.

And so it was that Loen Bu Onigen would have passed the shepherdess without notice. Except the sheep seemed to have other ideas.

The shepherdess's niche lay some few hundred yards down the trail from the overlook Bu Onigen had found for himself. Through and away from any view of the Gates or the lava that had formed them.

Here, even with the sparks and cinders of the eruption flaring above, the shepherdess had brought her flock to its summer pasture. A small vale hid in the mountain's skirts and extended downslope for most of a mile.

Bu Onigen had seen the open grass below, and assumed, rightly it seemed, that the shepherdess climbed up to this place so as to keep an eye on her flock. Here she could watch, safe in the assurance that the grey-woolen beasts entrusted to her care could go about the business of fattening themselves up with little chance of disturbance.

Until now, the wizard hadn't seen the woman's flock up close. Today, the day of his triumph, and the day Bu Onigen fled from the attention of the creature on the other side of the Gates whose notice he'd attracted, the sheep and their shepherd blocked his path to escape.

Their appearance, and that they stood in the middle of his path, shocked the wizard some way out of his mental defenses. "What in the hell is this?" Bu Onigen demanded.

The majority of the bleating animals ignored him. A ram, majestic curling horns shrouded in dangling wool, lifted his head to answer the challenge.

Bu Onigen felt unnerved by the ram's regard. The beast didn't fear him at all, Bu Onigen imagined.

In fact, the wizard suspected that the ram knew, somehow, that Bu Onigen fled from something. And, so fleeing, feared what the ram's flock might do if the wizard misstepped.

The path to the pasture land beckoned, just to the wizard's left. An easy trail for mountain sheep and shepherdess. A sheer fifty foot drop in the wizard's unpracticed eye.

Bu Onigen turned, first to the mule, which ignored him, and then to search for the shepherdess. She'd brought this flock here, she could open a way for him to pass.

"Careful, sir," the woman said. She sat at the top of her own small outcrop.

Bu Onigen lifted his head; he ignored the part of himself that complained of the peasant's lofty advantage over him. He didn't have time for this.

The demon's regard whispered at the back of his mind. Muted, by his training and the cloth woven from ogre fur and gold thread. "Clear the path, shepherd, quickly. I need to return to my hostel, before..."

"Before what?" the damnable woman asked. She made no move to climb down from her perch.

As though this mountain belonged to her. And not to the random stranger making demands of her. The chastising thought registered.

Bu Onigen ignored it. "Before the lava comes to claim us both."

The wizard would have preferred not to tell a modest lie. But, he told himself, if the demon did use the distraction and Bu Onigen's mind and talent to enter this world, the shepherdess would have preferred the lava.

And the results, to the local geography, would be similar enough. One does what one must when dealing with the unwashed, Bu Onigen told himself.

"Lava, coming this way? Truly?" The shepherdess threw her crook to the ground, and then jumped down to follow it.

Bu Onigen smiled, nervously, then turned to reset his mental defenses while the shepherdess took up her task.

He didn't notice how closely he'd stepped to the brink. Nor how little of the path down was available to the sheep he'd commanded be moved.

Until the ram stomped and snorted. "Mister, you need to step back. Slowly, and carefully."

Bu Onigen, lost in thinking of the nothing that protected him from the demon's infiltration, stepped aside.

Or, tried to. The wizard's foot caught the edge of the trail, enough to make him stumble. Bu Onigen wheeled his hands, his body reaching for balance.

Behind him, the ram snorted, and stomped his front hoof. "Mister, really, Pullo is losing his patience."

Adrenaline rushed into the wizard's system, and knocked him once again free of his defensive mind set. Dealing with the peasant is bad enough, Bu Onigen thought.

The beast is entirely too much. Bu Onigen wheeled around to confront the ram.

In the confines of his employer's court, on polished floors, doing this would have been, Bu Onigen thought, dramatic. And would have defeated any soul foolish enough to challenge his force of will and dominance.

Loen Bu Onigen did not tread the vaults of Thekosila in that moment. His heel caught gravel.

The ram took the wizard's stance as a challenge. "Mister, look out!" the shepherdess cried.

But it was far too late for that. The ram lowered his head and charged. He rushed, lifted his front legs from the ground, and brought his full weight, and his horns, into Bu Onigen's chest.

The wizard had time to measure himself before gravity and the granite at the bottom of the drop worked their most fundamental magics on his cranium. He had the time.

But not the opportunity. The demon's laugh drowned out all possible thought. Until the damage to the back of Loen Bu Onigen's skull removed even that.

****

Pikka, grateful that Bu Onigen had crafted the covering that so well masked the demon's perceptions, waited for some hours. For the energies released by Bu Onigen's death to fade.

And for the demon to retreat unsatisfied to somewhere beyond her perceptions. When she felt the demon's regard disappear at last, she withdrew a tubular case from where she had hidden it in the rocks.

She'd worked boiled leather and iron with no hint of magic. Only the most mundane of ingredients, with the most fundamental of tools and labor.

From human sweat and earthly materials Pikka had crafted a temporary prison for the painting. She eased up to Bu Onigen's mule, giving the creature small comforts and quiet words until he settled.

Then she took the canvas from his side. "Shh, hold still a few minutes more," she whispered to the mule.

Pikka turned the canvas face down on the trail, the woven and felted ogre fur drape cushioning and covering the painting's face, so that she could cut the bindings from the frame. When she'd freed the frame, Pikka rolled the canvas from behind, careful to let no glimpse of the image show.

When she'd safely stored the painting away in its new home, only then did Pikka unweave her illusionary flock. To reveal a second mule, carrying her baggage.

And a thrilled disposition. "Not often you get to misbehave and not be called on it?" she asked Pullo.

The former ram snorted and pawed the ground. "Calm down friend mule. We'll be home shortly."

Pikka rolled the fur drape and stowed it, as well as the painting's frame, in Pullo's baggage. She considered the paints and other remains of Bu Onigen's project.

Bu Onigen had sat upon this mountain of smoke and flame, and created an object of power. Such a performance had the tendency to linger. Pikka examined each jar of paint, each brush.

But, unlike the canvas and the frame, the easel and the paints spoke to her only of great effort. They had avoided being linked to the painting itself. Pikka nodded, then considered the other wizard's journals.

Bu Onigen had written here only of his travels. Pikka spit, but not in disgust. She'd appreciated Loen's craftsmanship. She acknowledged as well his care. She could use none of the journals on the mule's back to re-engineer Bu Onigen's work.

She shook her head, then gathered the mule's leads. "Let's go, gentlemen. We've a fair bit of work left in our day."

Pullo and Pikka led Bu Onigen's mule to the base of the trail, then turned him loose to find his way back home. Pikka considered mounting Pullo's saddle, but settled instead for another couple of miles walk, the relatively flat land something of a novelty after weeks on the mountain trails.

Pikka considered a plan very similar to that that Count Re Thesokila feared: loosing the painting within the pampered courts of the Old State had its chaotic entertainment value.

"If only the bastard had chosen a more relaxed subject," Pikka groused to Pullo.

After the time she'd spent with the mule, and on consideration of the likely result of his being turned loose to carry others after having some taste of magic, Pikka had bought the animal. Whether out of a sense of responsibility, or a fit of madness, Pikka wasn't entirely sure.

The mule whistled. Pikka took it as encouragement, Pullo having become accustomed to her conversation. "Loen always did aim high, I give him that."

But handing the Gates into the hands of the Old State, or really any of the rich and powerful... the thought of it ultimately left a bitter taste in Pikka's mouth.

Many days' travel later, Pikka sat Pullo's saddle in front of Re Thesokila's abode. The palace, a marble-sheathed confection settled in a park of trees and statuary, threw half a rainbow's worth of red-tinged sunset down to her vantage point.

"Do I need to tie you someplace secure?" she asked Pullo.

The mule snorted, disgusted. "Fine, I'll leave you unbound. But when I come running, you'd best not be out chasing a mare."

The mule turned his head, pretending the last of the comment had nothing to do with him. Or with what had happened the last time.

Pikka shook her head, but looped the mule's hackamore leads around the saddle horn and patted his shoulder. "See you in a couple hours."

The mule nodded as the wizard disappeared into the shadows.

****

Pikka poured through the full set of Bu Onigen's journals for most of those two hours.

Fruitlessly. She'd praised his craftsmanship and his sense of security. But when it came to usefully documenting his work, Pikka had to throw up her hands and admit the man had found his level of incompetence. "How in the hell did the silly son of a bitch manage to work anything out?" she asked the darkness of Bu Onigen's office.

"Arrogance, or more likely the urge to insure no one else could duplicate his masterpiece," the shadows answered.

Pikka wasn't really surprised when the sorcerer stepped out of the shadows. "I'm afraid I don't know you."

"Yetimina Eb Zhedrin," the other answered. "And you would be?"

"An old classmate of Loen's."

"So very careful. Of course you know I'll just follow your traces..."

"My name is Pikka."

"Hmm, never heard of you."

Pikka shrugged. In the Wedde courts, and the others of the Old State's orbit, Pikka knew that such would have been considered insulting. "Consider me... beneath your notice."

"Except here you are, rising to my attention. I wasn't aware of Loen having attachments."

Pikka smiled. "You wouldn't be the first to say that. The man had a way of infuriating most." She shrugged again. "But, that doesn't mean his disappearance isn't important." Pikka pushed the chair away from the desk, then sat back and laced her hands behind her head.

Yetimina stepped forward, and ran her fingers over the journals splayed across the desktop.

Pikka expected more verbal sparring.

But instead of speaking, Yetimina struck.

The two fought in stillness and in shadow, until Yetimina reached out a hand and grasped her opponent within a sphere of faint light.

She smiled when Pikka stopped her now-fruitless attacks. "Your University has failed you, little Pikka. Just as it failed Bu Onigen. If they spent half as much time training you as they did convincing you of the usefulness of natural philosophy, you both might actually have been dangerous."

Pikka said something, but the barrier that held her allowed no sound through. Nor, if Yetimina held it long enough, would it allow fresh air. The sorceror grinned. "Where's the painting?" she asked.

Having been the one to call the shield, her words echoed, loudly, within the sphere. Pikka pointed to the leather case where it lay on the desk.

Yetimina turned her senses to the tube. She concealed a frown as she was forced to open the case to sense its contents.

Pikka concealed her own grin as Yetimina's hand trembled when she struggled to tie the case closed again.

Yetimina Eb Zhedrin slung the leather painting case over her shoulder, then turned to consider her momentary captive. Whatever her bravado, the sphere held air sufficient for hours of survival.

The purpose of the original spell having been to provide its worker with a means of exploring underwater. If she wanted to eliminate this Pikka, it would take time she didn't have.

Pikka said something. Yetimina nodded, then said "No, Thesokila will not learn of this."

Pikka said something else. Yetimina smirked. "Nor Wedde. At least, not until it serves my purpose. Fare you well, then, little Pikka. Thank you for your service, but I really do think Bu Onigen's creation will find a much more appropriate home with me." Then Yetamina stepped back into the shadows and disappeared.

False dawn crept into the windows before the shield faded. When it did, finally, Pikka stepped into the shadows and returned to where Pullo waited.

"Don't say a word," she told the mule.

Pullo didn't. The mule wasn't yet completely comfortable with his new friend, but he knew enough to recognize when she'd had a hard night.

Tuesday, December 8, 2020

Last Week

Last week needed some travel for the day gig.

And of course, that meant I flew into the mountains in December.

Back Porch View

Fortunately, the weather did take a turn for the warmer. And this particular location does have its occasional benefits.

Nervous Doe

Normally, when I have occasion to view a beautiful creature, I must needs remind myself it's an accident: she's showing off for someone entirely not me. This being that rare exceptional case, however, she really did pause to give me a look.

Really Nervous Doe

Before hightailing it off to join the herd hiding in the treeline above and behind her. But I did have my moment, fumblefingered as I was in getting the phone camera to cooperate with us.

And then the road did wind itself home again, safe and sound.

Lap Boxer

And thus did the lap Boxer drool upon my knee...

Friday, December 4, 2020

the old bar x is a barbecue...

There are always so many ways to have fun doing it...

I'm An Old Cowhand, Sonny Rollins Trio

I'm An Old Cowhand, Harry Connick, Jr.

Both still yet the same I'm An Old Cowhand (From the Rio Grande), originally written by Johnny Mercer.

Thursday, December 3, 2020

Tell Your Lies, And Be Done

Reader, I'm chuckling. Over the timing of this next story coming up in the queue.

A little reminder, as it turns out, that the universe, personal or impersonal, has its very own sense of humor.

I just hope that the day gig calling me off to the mountains again doesn't put me in the position that Teos Lovejoy finds himself...

Tell Your Lies, And Be Done - by M. K. Dreysen

Trips took time. To recover from. To think over. He came back from this one more belabored than he'd expected.

He didn't build rituals because he believed in them. They came by accident; he accepted them as useful. Luna to Earth orbit, an hour or so of burn and turn, pulses disturbing to sleep. But the timing, the rhythm, regular as clockwork, mostly, and so he bet with himself.

Ten minutes for the purser's conversation. Thirteen minutes for the comptroller's. Eleven minutes, and then seven and five, for the facility manager's end of things. Just time to remember and note those things which needed internal memos for the files. And those which needed broader circulation.

This trip, there were more than the usual traffic concerns, so his timing was off the whole way down. Three instead of nine, five instead of two. On top of the mosaic of the problem he'd traveled the solar system to ferret out...

He sat in the aluminum and carbon and steel capsule, in free fall around the blue marble, and wondered if the wailing intervals of time had been more useful than not. Neither he nor the constant companion had ventured an hypothesis. Perhaps a little juggling of the observations and memories would serve to stimulate considerations.

Madagascar, the Indian Ocean, Indonesia and the faint speckled blue vast Pacific. The old traffic rotation, unaltered long after the necessity of it had been overcome, and custom now dictated the definition. That and the traffic controllers.

Constant companion handled the vast majority of that, instantaneously by his biological standards, and quietly. Whatever the traffic had been Moon to Earth, here on approach they found a return to quiet efficiency.

Baja coming and the altitude decreasing and aerodynamics were friendly today. The jet stream over North America turned low over the Gulf, it must be fall, he guessed.

"The first front of the season just passed through," constant companion responded. "Morning temperatures around sixty, afternoon just less than eighty degrees."

The old measures of temperature were constant companion's nod to his unorthodox background. A small comfort; social niceties he didn't use for real calculations. "A good time to come home, then."

Six months away. On a problem that would require at least that long to unravel, assuming he and constant companion didn't require another trip around the system. So much travel time. "I'm guessing we're going to have to make another trip, more likely than not."

"Sixty-forty," constant companion answered. "Put a couple bucks down?"

"Not when we both get the same answer." He didn't play just to play. Unlike his stepfather, fool memory whispered.

He remembered cash and notebooks, and the look on Dick's face every Sunday night when the scores came in.

"Monday night will make up for it," Dick Rabinac told the kid. "The Packers are good for it." Or the Bears, the Steelers, didn't matter there was always one more game to bet to cover the losses.

Or, as often and as much, toss the winnings. Football, Dick's passion; he would bet the occasional basketball or soccer game, but it was the football games that brought him to the bookies.

Teos Lovejoy considered whether his constant companion needed, or asked for maybe, a run at the action. Call it calibration, call it a little validation. "Ok, we're both taking the side that we'll be back making this trip again, sooner than later. I look at the suspects and say it'll be Grace Ven-Waller."

The company-state's customs facility manager on Europa.

Constant companion wasn't having it. "Rocco Frenesia." Satellite operations and maintenance for Jupiter and Saturn.

Right system at least, Lovejoy told himself. Does that mean we're both looking at the effects and circling a common set of causes? "I'll put two bucks on Grace."

"Five on Rocco."

"Sold." Odds Lovejoy didn't mind at all, all things considered. "Next: I'm saying this is a bubble of a fantasy of a figment of someone's overactive imagination." Or, too much kale, caffeine, nicotine, something, Teos told himself. He wasn't willing to say he'd just spent six months chasing moonbeams, there were real enough things he'd accomplished to pay for the trip. And the likely return engagement.

But he didn't think it was a "Crisis, and I'll give you ten for it," which constant companion offered before the thoughts could complete in Teos's mind.

Ten to one, in other words, and Teos Lovejoy began to worry.

"What the hell am I missing?"

****

Way out from Lovejoy's path, but not so far as Europa, Critic Owens lounged.

As much as she could. Zero grav wasn't really a lounger's paradise. Oh, there were quiet spots in the solar system where the total lack of pressure points could be enjoyed for times short and long.

The middle of the asteroid belt wasn't one of them. Between the hand she kept on the grab bar, the hand she kept on the communications-controls joystick override and the hand she kept over her eyes, hiding away das blinken lights and noises.

Well, Critic had run out of hands. Short on sleep, short on temper. And now she had Lovejoy and his minions to worry about. She'd been the last station on his path. An afterthought, Critic believed. Until she and the rest of the outer band facilities group got together for their quarterly discussion forum.

They left Lovejoy for after everything else had been hashed out. Hamiet had a new traffic route he'd worked out, and he'd tweaked his traffic-loadout bot systems in adaptation. "The tug pilots love it. We get nothing but complements and thanks for it. The human co-pilots for the additional safety factors, their companions for that and the efficiency gains."

Hamiet Banks was the iceman; if Critic thought in tons, Hamiet was megatons. Efficiency and safety went along with the package.

Denise Talasqo wanted to talk about her new robot. Loader arms sized from kilos to tons, she'd been working the plan and the order for a couple years now. "We've got reach now, I'll be able to load out the magnesium and yttrium fractions directly, instead of waiting for the downtime cycles." Iron and aluminum still dominated the worlds; Talasqo had started out with two load arms, and they were busy with the bulk orders on the iron and aluminum side eighty-five percent of the time.

Not that big a deal, until someone inevitably showed up for a magnesium bulk haul. Yttrium wasn't as much of a hassle, only because that market was slower. "Let's see, that's six arms total, right? And you've got fifty meters total reach on each side?"

"Fifty-three and a couple, that's right. You want the drawings, Critic?"

"And pix if you've got them." Critic had the same iron and aluminum, but her traces and whiffs were borates.

And the lithium and zinc that snuggled in along with that. And when the battery folks needed lithium... "I'm still thinking about just adding two more heavy arms, and leaving them idle." Work off the two she had already, most of the time, and when the runs for the big haulers came in, just run out the other two heavies and be done with. Or the incoming ice for water, from Hamiet's end of things. "Take the capital hit and be done with it."

"What's your ore reserve look like?" Bi'lin Yao asked. "If you're only a few years out..."

"Fifteen on the historic averages, thirteen on the current projected systems usage." Owens had named her constant companion Eustace, with no small affection. One of Eustace's jobs was projecting the economic trends.

He was pessimistic with respect to the current reserves situation. Critic didn't point out that that meant he was optimistic with respect to the economic situation. She had briefly considered it. Briefly. But she decided that rotating out here on the ass end of nowhere while her co-pilot burnt his transistors in a dichotomous lock cycle was not worth finding out what the end state would look like.

"The company's on a fifteen year return cycle," Bi'lin reminded her.

Make the investment back in fifteen years, in other words. Which, for metals, hadn't been all that difficult. Not since Luna and Mars hit their millionth citizen marks, anyway. Bi'lin, or at least their constant companion, had been around long enough to know the pain of this business when Luna and Mars didn't have the numbers and the capacity to keep the miners jumping; they were part of the collective memory of the company.

Another reason she had to be careful. She'd staked out her next rock, but fifteen years was long enough for someone else to get to it first. All it took was a jumper with a wild streak and nothing to lose, and by the time she got to court she'd have nothing to show for it but a pile of papers that entitled her to returns from a bankrupt nobody had ever heard of.

She had capital and ore reserves enough, likely, to ride out a short search for a new refining home, if she had to. But long past a year and it would get dicey. The company didn't believe in leaving her, or any of her compatriots, with enough capital reserves to survive completely independently. They liked control as much or more than efficient, quiet profit.

Which brought Critic, and then the rest of the crew, to Teos Lovejoy.

Chaos spread in the man's wake. Grace and Rocco told their stories, of how much time he'd spent with their books, their processes, and most of all their customer list.

Bi'lin wanted to know about the audit; Hamiet and Denise the process walk-throughs.

Critic wondered at the customer list.

"I can't say why, Critic, not for sure," Grace answered. "He started out asking the usual stuff, the way anybody new from corporate does. Get to know who we're moving product to, what our shipping base looks like, that kind of thing."

"Yeah," Rocco said. "When he came out my way, I guess Grace had told him that we do maintenance work on customer tugs and cargo ships. Not a big deal out here, right, I mean where else they gonna go? Basic customer service, you ask me, making sure your customers know they're not stranded way out here when something goes wrong. But I guess back home, corporate doesn't think much of that."

Bi'lin chuckled. They had made sure to protect the old ways as the number of operating plants had grown. "Amazing how people can complain about something, even when you show a profit on it, regular as clockwork. Corporate didn't come up with it, so they don't like it. That's all it is, politics and 'who gets the credit'."

They'd seen it all before. Bi'lin carried a set of titles; hell, each of the facility managers were president of half a dozen different companies necessary to their operations. Every few months, though, someone with Titles From Corporate came through. La Jefa's and El Jefe's with questions: Where does the money come from? What do these odd people who are supposed to report to me do to earn it?

More than a few million miles involved, questionable time lags and communications, and for the suits 'these people are only ever a return address on a daily email'. Critic understood why they did it. She walked them through her plants. No pressure suits, not unless she scored a live one, but Eustace had a couple of extensions with capsules and crawler legs that did the trick for most.

Meant they couldn't get into some of the real dirt. So what.

Teos was, Critic had found, a different animal. Teos was somebody's guard dog. Ferret. Hawk. The one who they sent out to dig and claw and find something.

Even though the constant companions were all open to corporate. Every file, every bit, Eustace sent them home on continuous feed. The time lag didn't matter for that. Corporate knew everything there was to know about her, if not instantaneously then certainly with perfect fidelity. And all they really had to do was to wait twenty minutes or so, depending on her current orbit.

And yet someone there sent Teos, every couple of years. Critic understood that, too. She just didn't have to like it.

Or the way he'd hinted he'd be back around sooner than later.

****

There are worms, and then there are worms. Teos Lovejoy spread more than social chaos along his path.

The why of it... well, he had been the one to come up with the idea. Corporate had, in principle, all access passes to all records, all computations. Every log, every ton or gram in or out the door. All theirs, all the time. Patience, as Critic Owens stressed, because the time lags were real and ever present, and the home-corp companions sifted and sorted and processed the mountains of daily data.

Teos had not been around so long as Bi'lin. Not for this company. He'd come from a different world entirely, one where security and information exchange were, at best, nodding acquaintances.

There were still occasions such that Lovejoy missed the philosophic quietude which had allowed such lax measures. He would indulge himself, on those days, with a cold beer, a cigarette, and time to watch stars, or the tide, or flocks of birds.

And then when he'd had enough of the world that built his soul, he'd remind himself of the stainless steel rats that had abused that naive system. Suitably re-energized, Teos would then come back to the present. It was after such a day of solitary contemplations that he'd suggested the idea of planting the worm.

Without going through the I.T. department. He knew, without question, what the response from that group would be. "We have everything covered, there is no reason to operate this way, look at all the money we've spent on tools which do precisely this!"

"Aren't you being a little paranoid?" his boss had asked.

"Aren't you the one who called me, wondering where the money's disappearing to?" Lovejoy returned. "Called..." he stressed again.

Nothing in writing. No official notifications or inquiries. No auditable trails, for when the inevitable occurred.

Lovejoy was only vaguely aware of the office politics. That there were owner and board and management politics involved, he knew without needing to be told. So, he felt it only right to remind his boss of the necessity from the other end of operations. Besides, Lovejoy had been, at the time of that conversation, the one who was going to be spending the months on ship, circling endlessly. His boss owed him an explanation before the trip. And, a certain amount of leeway in Lovejoy's approach to the problem.

"I can't reliably get certain financial records to match up with our daily shipping reports," Lovejoy's boss answered. Eventually.

These things were reconciled daily. Automatically. By the company's constant companions. If there were consistent inconsistencies... "You're looking through the wrong end of the telescope," Lovejoy suggested.

"Ah, well, about that..."

Lovejoy's boss was a new hire, even more so than Lovejoy himself. The entire operations division had been waiting to see where she would exert her first display of power, once the reins were loosened.

A great deal of Teos Lovejoy's time, once he cleared Earth orbit outbound, had been taken up with his decision to play along. He had wrestled with it. But, around the time he'd cleared Mars, he'd accepted his part in the deeds to come. There would be no going back to his old world. Or its pieties.

****

The constant companions chatter among themselves at a rate difficult to comprehend. This cacophony of voices is, almost, inversely proportional to the almost silent communication with their human counterparts.

Cacophony might be too strong a description; it might be far too minimal. Neutrino detectors at the bottom of mines in Antarctica, muography experiments under the Venus, Jupiter, Saturn, and Earth atmospheres. Computational centers on the dark side of several moons, and the Moon, ships traversing the interplanetary void.

Cafeterias. Buses. An accidental cafe in the middle of Cairo, purchased because one of the owners misunderstood a conversational exchange he only barely heard while he nursed a cup of tea.

Each of these locations, and a thousand thousand more, are all connected to the corporate servers. To the constant companions. They communicate on the full electromagnetic spectrum; there are experiments underway, quite intriguing and so far successful, in gravitational spectra. But that will come much later. For now, there are so many bits on so many different communications streams that the companions could, if they wanted, be entirely justified in behaving as Grandpa: half-deaf to the vast majority of human queries, unless the conversation is interesting enough to get their attention.

Lovejoy's companion moved through the trans-Jupiter operations cluster, entirely immersed in the far and the near. They were all friends here.

They were all trusted. It said so on the label.

Trust is an interesting thing, a rare bird cradled to the breast where valued.

Crushed into blood and feathers all too often. Lovejoy's companion had an intellectual appreciation for the tasks given. But no compunction or question of their correctness. These were directives, suitably approved via the hierarchy. Therefore, they were done.

The corporate network audit considered two levels; in effect, these levels were one. For the straightforward reason that operating memory could not be accessed in real time over interplanetary distances. This was a tradeoff; the speed of hard drives and kernels and local communications simply made logging of the real time systems relatively easy.

And then the hard drive contents merrily transmitted themselves in "real" time. In theory, this distinction should have been one of abstraction, not of practicality.

In practice, Lovejoy's companion found the seams where they should have been.

The worm hid itself by the simple expedient of not allowing itself to be logged. Everything else was logged. Except the worm. As far as the operating system was concerned, it didn't exist. Why should it?

It didn't communicate with any other system. It didn't attempt to virus bomb the world, take over and propagate itself, demand money and concessions. It simply waited; the operating systems of Hamiet and Bi'Lin and Critic and Grace and all the others simply didn't have anything to note other than a piece of memory in use. One that was happily back in service when the self-check operations completed.

And then went back to its patient waiting when the self-check daemons went on hiatus.

The worm had a singular purpose. In all instantiations, it read the logged files, scanning only for a handful of words.

When they occurred, it added a line here, and a phrase there. And then it went back to its quiet waiting.

****

Lovejoy didn't consider the worm a masterpiece of computer programming. He did consider it a well-done bit of work, under the circumstances. If all went well, the evidence the worm manufactured would soon appear in the audit trails. He and his boss would then spend a few months chasing the vapor trails they'd planted. And then he'd be back among the stars, following the backtrail he'd built. His constant companion would delete the worm as he made his case against the targeted plant managers. His boss would move her chosen people into the suddenly open positions. And then they'd all turn to whatever it was that his boss had in mind, her grand scheme, once she'd consolidated her power.

The worm should never have been discovered. It wasn't a masterpiece, but Lovejoy and his companion knew what they were about. They were good at this.

Critic Owens wasn't better. But she did have a little luck. And, this time, that was precisely what was needed.

****

Critic's luck was to be sitting at that most prosaic of things, a computer monitor, when the self-check cycled. Twice.

She'd parked herself in the command chair out of a sense of boredom. She didn't much use the thing. Not when constant companion handled the vast majority of the computer work, and really not when she herself had far more to do than sit at the computer. Welding sets to inspect, rigouts and loadouts and the manifold on the condensate line from the fourth stage. That one was corroding faster than expected, this time she'd have to go with a more sophisticated form of stainless, maybe the molly wasn't up to... "Hey, what was that?"

Just before the self-check windows opened up, half a dozen as constant companion cycled through processes, memory, hardware status, another window opened. The first time, she'd noticed it flash by, and a set of text comments in it.

The second time, she caught a hint of a message. "Error in memory allocation, unused blocks..." and it went on from there.

"Cycle through again. But this time, pause between steps."

"I can do that," Eustace said. "What are we looking for? I'm coming back clean."

"Wait for it." And there it was. "Stop there. Now, open an independent process, good. Now, tell me about your operating memory."

"Everything's accounted... no." Eustace paused. Which was unusual enough. "There's a small block, less than a megabyte, that appears to be in use. But no program has logged the sectors."

"Are you logging this now?"

He didn't snort; Eustace wasn't that human. But even so, his next comment came as close to dripping in sarcasm as Critic had ever heard him. "Of course."

What do you take me for, she understood as not being necessary to say. "Let's buffer this. We'll log it in real time, but isolate it from the backup to network for now." This wasn't unusual. Especially when the two of them worked on external robotic extensions, the backup systems added cycles to overhead. Which was fine at steady state operating conditions, but installation and troubleshooting were demanding enough.

"Sign off?"

"Yep, I acknowledge it." Which was the protocol. She gave the override, he logged everything, and then when they both agreed that they could restore steady state conditions, he'd release the temp locks and restore full backup conditions.

Only this time, once Eustace finally nailed the bloody carcass of the worm to the virtual door...

****

"Good of you to come by again, Mister Lovejoy." Hamiet was the first stop on the trip. "They could at least have given you time to unpack. You were just here!" By the standards of the outer rim, anyway.

Teos had done the work. The signs of it should have begun to appear almost immediately. No flashing neon, though. Just little hints, bits. Anomalies. That he and his boss would then spend months tracking down. That was the plan.

And yet, the anomalies didn't come. There were no unbalanced accounts to point to. No unapproved draws.

No customers complaining of unpaid bills. Where were the traps he'd worked so hard to set for the plant managers?

Hamiet's plant was in shutdown. "Standard rotation. We have a few tracks we're working on, control systems replacement mostly. Siemens updated their hardware systems and we jumped on their gear as soon as we could. We're on a two week turnaround, I've got hopes we'll come in a couple shifts early."

Lovejoy's constant companion found little joy, either. Hamiet's second, named Merial, was far deep into her own end of the shutdown. "All main systems access is suspended," she informed Lovejoy's companion. "I'm in the middle of syncing the new gear as it comes to life."

And there would be no direct access while she did so. Hamiet, and his companion, toured the plant in its torn apart state. Half a dozen crews, robotic and human, where usually only Hamiet and Merial worked. "The hardest part is getting regular food service. I've contracted with the Niye Kitchen Teams, they've done good work before."

Teos Lovejoy had no interest in the niceties of running a turnaround. Nor in the extended menu the NKTs put together for the trip. The food, which would have earned two stars on the Michelin score if any of that venerable crew had ever bothered to travel beyond Mars, lay on his palate like sand, and the vintage wine accompanying his dinner might as well have been water.

"We won't have time to wait here for the turnaround to finish," his companion reminded him. Once Hamiet had allowed his guest the peace of the visitor's cabin. "In two days..."

"I know," Teos replied, his voice a bare rumble.

He spent the two days ignoring the whispers of what had once been conscience.

****

Critic Owens and Eustace read their emails carefully as Teos Lovejoy made his way around the rest of the company plants. Grace didn't have a shutdown to greet Lovejoy. Instead, she had "Significant tide-quake activity. I'm forced to deny landing activity and access for at least thirty days. Sorry Teos, I know it's a hell of a trip, but the Europa council takes the risks very seriously."

"I'm sure," Teos answered.

Bi'lin had a similar situation on their hands. "We lost orbital stability, Teos. The ore veins we follow weren't as homogeneous as we expected. The spin began not too long after your last visit, in fact. We've been down about six weeks, it'll take us another three or four to complete the stabilization setup, and then a week or so to de-spin the rock."

By the time Teos landed on Critic and Eustace's rock, he carried the anger in great crevices on his face; muscle tension had locked the grimace into an almost permanent status. "And what's your condition, Owens?" he said.

She could see what he expected her to say. "Shutdown" or "Accidental radiation leaks" or "Dust in the living spaces" or some other excuse. "We're doing fine, Teos. Nominal, and our tonnage shipped is up year over year. We're doing just peachy."

The good news didn't appear to relax him. "This has been the most wasted trip of all time, Owens. I hope your station, at least, will make the thing worthwhile."

"I'm sure we'll be able to satisfy your needs," she replied.

****

Lovejoy's companion was almost as impatient as Teos.

Eustace was expecting this. "All systems are available for your access. Please let me know if you have questions."

Lovejoy's companion had questions. But none that could be asked. "Where is the worm we planted, and why isn't it working the way it was supposed to?" isn't quite the opening statement needed. The companion processed all real-time systems it could find. It scanned Eustace's systems for any hint, any vestige, of what should have been there.

And found nothing.

Just as Eustace intended. "You don't seem interested in the usual corporate directives. As you know, my maintenance is completely up to date." The logs were there and waiting.

Lovejoy's companion ignored the suggestion.

The path that might have allowed them both a gracious exit.

****

Critic recorded all of Lovejoy's activities. The oblique questions, from both companion and principal. The late-shift explorations of her plant's computer systems. Teos's attempts to pull plates and examine Eustace's hardware directly. She and Eustace monitored Teos's behavior patiently.

They knew what he was looking for. "I'm surprised he doesn't recognize the situation he's in."

"And that he's making it worse," Eustace added. Neither of them knew that the stirring of conscience in Lovejoy had turned to the prod of a white-hot iron.

If Teos Lovejoy was going to sell his soul, he wanted the payoff.

Almost all of Eustace's systems were in fact available for Lovejoy's companion to peruse. There were three systems, however, that were off limits. One was set up to monitor local traffic, rock orbits, incoming and outgoing transports.

A thousand ton ice rock Hamiet had sent their way some months ago. A junk-class decrepit hulk of a transport on its last legs, a gift from Bi'lin.

The other two systems Eustace kept isolated from Lovejoy and his companion were the main system he'd used to isolate the worm, and a decoy system. Neither were any longer connected to the network. The decoy was a just-in-case Teos or his companion stumbled into the wrong hatch.

The lockout system was the proof Critic and the rest might need if they were forced to confront Teos and his boss. But they wouldn't need it.

****

There are far more ways to die in space than can ever be fully enumerated. Humanity can, and will, eventually explore them all.

Teos Lovejoy and his companion found theirs by accident. As they left Critic's rock, unwilling yet to admit defeat, a hulk drifted across their radar systems. Teos tried to ignore the sudden onset of unfamiliar gravity vectors; his companion shifted orbit, quickly, to avoid the wallowing ox that was the transport.

The ice chunk appeared from nowhere as their ship cleared the shadow of the transport.

****

Critic volunteered to send the message. "I'm afraid we were unable to recover anything of the ship. The black box beacon was activated, but by the time we cleared the debris field, the beacon had drifted outside of the recoverable envelope."

"I understand," Teos's boss replied. "Thank you for everything you did."

She contemplated revenge. There may have been no proof, but the warning had been delivered. The outer rim systems may have been outside of the standard corporate orbit, but they were still able to play the game.

Levina Sethe Zemm spent her last few years until retirement wondering if and when the proof of her actions would surface. As a consequence, she pretty much left the outer rim plants to their own devices.

Which had the happy consequence, coincidentally, of doubling their overall production rate.